Ah, man!

I weighed myself this morning and i have gained some weight back. i am now at 558! Ah, man! but i know what the problem is. i have been having too many snacks. I have been eating every 2 hours and i need to change that to every 3 hours instead. When i got home yesterday, i was grazing. i had some food that my mom cooked, a piece of chicken, and 1/2 cup of ice cream. the ice cream was sugar-free but with everything else i had eaten yesterday, the numbers really added up. therefore, i will now eat only every 3 hours. my breakfast consisted of 2 egg whites with ham and cheese, and oatmeal. for lunch I'm going to have a Smart Ones lasagna which is 300 calories with some strawberries. now that i know where the problem lies, I'm going to fix it. i have to admit, when i saw the scale today, i was soooo tempted to just give up. i wanted to go raid the refrigerator and eat to my heart's content. however, i resisted, because the weight gain should give me more motivation to eat better. ill let you know how it goes.

I Cant Believe it!

Before the zumba class started this afternoon, a lady (that is a gym rat) told me that i have great rhythm. ME? the one that cant keep up with the steps??? i couldn't believe it! here she was, giving me a great compliment! i cant believe that she said i move very nicely! i was really nice! yeah me!

I have ankles!!

yesterday, as i was waiting for the elevator (yes, i know, i should be taking the stairs) i was looking at my reflection in the mirror and noticed that i have ankles now! for those that do not know, i have had a problem with my ankles always being swollen, causing cankles (calf extends to the ankles). i guess this whole working out is making a difference! i couldn't believe it! wow, Mr. ankles, i hadn't seen you in the longest! i was beginning to think that i didn't have ankle bones! lol!
this morning i weighed myself and i down to 256.6! with 261 being my heightest weight since i started the working out, that means i have lost 5 pounds! yeah! finally, the scale is starting to work in my favor! yes, i must admit that by miracle, i didn't over eat last night like usual (perhaps its that i got in a spiff with my husband so i fell asleep really early; not time to overeat). whatever the case may be, Ive lost 5 pounds. that gives me motivation to keep doing what I'm doing.
this morning, i am going to have oatmeal with a splenda and a tad bit of raisins and egg whites with cheese.
i am going to the gym again today at lunch time. it is the zumba class. i have to say, a LONG time ago, i had taken this class with the same instructor. the instructor is a nice gal, so nice, that when i couldn't keep up with the class and couldn't get down the steps, she stopped the class to stand by me to show me how the steps were done. not a big deal, right? WRONG! i felt like such a failure! here she was, stopping the whole class just to show me how to do it! all the attention was drawn to me! how embarrassing! i felt like the "fat girl that couldn't keep up"! needless to say, i never took that class again. oh, and that episode was accompanied with nonstop crying. so going back to today, i am taking that class again, but why, you ask? well, since i have my funny friend Doris (thank you, Doris) to accompany me, the instructors attention is focused on her, not me! LOL! poor Doris, the instructor now stop the class to she her how its done! but there is a big difference between Doris and i. firstly, she is not even half as fat as i am, and secondly, she doesn't give a damn what anybody else thinks (again, thank you, Doris)! Doris' special way helps me get through this class! so wish me luck guys, i am doing zumba today!

Will I Make It?

Everyday is a challenge, but yet I cant stop feeling guilty about yesterdays errors. (I had a big bowl of cereal before bed) <--- how terrible is that? i guess the only upside is that it was Honey Nut Chex. Nevertheless, it is still "cheating" on my diet, and i felt guilty as hell over it. as i was eating it, my brain kept telling me "stop! don't do it! its not worth the exercise you hated so much at the gym!" I couldn't stop. i just kept munching away, and i even gulped the milk!
i weighed myself this morning... i am weighing a whole 258.8 lbs. Wow, how did i let myself get there again?? even after the gastric-bypass, I'm still a fatty. however, "everyday is a challenge" is my new mantra. so what that i weigh almost 260 lbs, i say to myself. i am going to loose weight whether my body likes it or not!
so i woke this morning, with a new found enthusiasm. i tried to eat egg whites with onions and mushrooms, but my esophagus would not let me. i tried to eat oatmeal with cinnamon, again, my esophagus would not let me. so in the end, i ate oatmeal with half a tablespoon of brown sugar and a couple of raisins. so the mid-morning snack, i had a cup of Honey Nut Chex with no milk. how am i doing so far? well, other than i want to gnaw my own arm off from anxiety, I'm doing okay (my limbs are still in tact).
I am going to try my very best to limit what i eat at home today, as that seems to be my biggest downfall. wish me luck!

And So It Begins

I figured that since i am starting a whole new way of life with this "healthy eating" and gym crap, i might as well let everyone else know how its been going... bear with me, as i am a work in progress.