And the Sun is Shining Upon Me (although its raining outside)

La, la, la, la! Today I am walking in the clouds because I, Gia, have lost eight pounds! My scale read 253.8 this morning! Whoopee! I want to scream it from the hill tops! Like the Sound of Music! Well, I know I'm still really heavy, but just think, I have lost 8 pounds! That is almost 10!
I know what is making the difference. I have zipped my mouth after dinner to not pig out like I normally do. It also helps that I have been snacking very healthy.
My meals consisted of this yesterday:
Morning- two egg whites with tomato and cheese and oatmeal
Snack- (i wasn't hungry) but i forced myself to eat a small tablespoon of peanut butter
Lunch- wheat pasta with low-fat cheese, lean turkey, and ricotta
Snack- weight watchers yogurt and some grapes
Dinner- some pork shoulder with a tad bit of rice
That's it, I didn't eat anything else. I also drank a TON of water and my usual two cups of green tea.
Last night, as I was reading my book "Secrets of a Former Fat Girl" my mind kept trying to coerce me to go get a snack and pig out. But no, its not an option! I worked out too hard at the gym to go and mess it up at night.
Hopefully, if it stops raining, I will go to the gym for lunch (the gym is located in another building across the parking lot). Either way, I plan on squeezing in a workout right after work. Yes, I am exchanging my food addiction for a workout addiction. But working out does not make me gain weight!
By the way, that book I'm reading, is AWESOME. Finally, a writer that REALLY, REALLY relates to being a fat girl.

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

During Christmas time, everyone gets a sweet feeling of melancholy and happiness. Today, I felt that feeling after having a fantastic workout! I have FINALLY reached the point where working out is not a dreaded, hated chore. For the past few weeks, everyone has noticed that I return from the gym with a frown and sad demeanor. Well, not today! I went to the gym and did the elliptical machine for 43 minutes which was 3.1 miles! Yes, i know that is pretty slow, but I made it after all. I didn't even pass out! Yeah! As I was walking back to my building, I was in such a good mood that I waved to a friend that was across the parking lot! Believe me, that is a drastic change than how I have felt the last few weeks.
I specifically did 3.1 miles because Corporate Run is coming up in April and I want to be able to cross the finish line. No, I do not intend of running it all, but I wanted to prove to myself that I can do that distance. And I did!
I weighed myself this morning and I have lost another pound. Currently holding in at 255.8. Yes, I know, I am not supposed to weigh myself everyday, but I cannot help it. My scale and I have a secret love affair. Some days I curse its existence, other days, I want to kneel and kiss it. Knowing the psycho in me, I would not be able to see the scale everyday and not weigh myself. (I even weigh myself after I get back home; I just add a couple of pounds for my clothes) Its all psycho, I know, I know.
I started taking some diet pills called Zantrec-3 and they are doing me well. For starters, it suppresses that appetite. And secondly, it gives energy (its loaded with caffeine). My friend Carol gave me her HydroxyCut to try, and lets just say that the new name for those pills should be "pills a la cocaine"! I have so much energy, I don't know what to do with myself.

Motivation

I hopes of retaining more motivation, i went to the book store with my dear hubby and bought some self-help books. I initially bought the book titled "Skinny Bitch" but realized that the recommendations they make are not realistic for my lifestyle (i.e. no caffeine, no sugars or sugar substitutes, not even diet coke!) so i went back to the book store (again, with the hubby) and bought another book titled "secrets of a former fat girl" which has proved very interesting from the first page read. i also bought a book titled "adventures of diet girl" which is based on a blog of a girl that finally made a change and lost a ton of weight. hopefully, these books will push me even further to loose weight. don't get me wrong, i realize that the inspiration and motivation must come from within me, but bloody hell, it doesn't hurt to get some back up, right!
since i went to the bookstore during my lunch hour, i did not workout. however, i plan on busting out the Biggest Loser DVD i have at home and get a workout in that way.
my husband makes me laugh, he is something else. I realize that with all my crazy antics, he is always supportive and loving. Why the hell would he want to spend HIS lunch hour at the bookstore with me?? Why, because he loves me. I love that booger!
this morning, i was weighing 158.8, so i am going back down. just a little bit at a time, that's all i ask for. how did i get so big, so fast? after having my daughter, i went back down to 142, so what is my excuse for being this big now? THERE IS NO EXCUSE!

Why, oh why???

Why do i eat soooo much over the weekend??? I totally sabotage everything i do through the week by overeating on the weekend! i get so frustrated with myself! i weighed myself this morning and i am back up to 261.6. I'm so frustrated. i was so upset with myself, that i was tempted to just give up completely. in fact, i wasn't even going to bring my gym bag so i wouldn't work out today. however, my inner strength (i have so little of it) got in gear and forced myself to bring my bag. damn it! i have to do this! i have to loose weight! its not a choice. i am doing this for my children, for my health. I want to be able to enjoy my children and be able to keep up with them. as of now, i am always tired and lazy. i don't want to be like that anymore. i want to be happy and healthy! I'm going to keep trying and I'm going to put in more effort.