Will I Make It?

Everyday is a challenge, but yet I cant stop feeling guilty about yesterdays errors. (I had a big bowl of cereal before bed) <--- how terrible is that? i guess the only upside is that it was Honey Nut Chex. Nevertheless, it is still "cheating" on my diet, and i felt guilty as hell over it. as i was eating it, my brain kept telling me "stop! don't do it! its not worth the exercise you hated so much at the gym!" I couldn't stop. i just kept munching away, and i even gulped the milk!
i weighed myself this morning... i am weighing a whole 258.8 lbs. Wow, how did i let myself get there again?? even after the gastric-bypass, I'm still a fatty. however, "everyday is a challenge" is my new mantra. so what that i weigh almost 260 lbs, i say to myself. i am going to loose weight whether my body likes it or not!
so i woke this morning, with a new found enthusiasm. i tried to eat egg whites with onions and mushrooms, but my esophagus would not let me. i tried to eat oatmeal with cinnamon, again, my esophagus would not let me. so in the end, i ate oatmeal with half a tablespoon of brown sugar and a couple of raisins. so the mid-morning snack, i had a cup of Honey Nut Chex with no milk. how am i doing so far? well, other than i want to gnaw my own arm off from anxiety, I'm doing okay (my limbs are still in tact).
I am going to try my very best to limit what i eat at home today, as that seems to be my biggest downfall. wish me luck!