Hi My Name is Gia and I am Addicted to Food

I have come to the conclusion that I am totally addicted to food. I have a problem saying "no" to it. Yes, to most that this conclusion is obvious, but to me, it hit me like a train yesterday. I had made dinner, and the food was just horrid (although my husband was sweet enough to eat it). Although I would practically gag every time I put a forkful in my mouth, I could'nt stop eating it. Sad, is'nt it? Yes, I know, I know. I get so frusterated with myself that I get a great urge to sabatoge all my efforts and just eat a gallon of ice cream to punish myself for being fat. I have to constantly remind myself that food is just needed to live, not live to eat. I have to remind myself that I have made a commitment to eat healthier and stop gaining weight. I have to remind myself that if I don't stop gaining weight now, it will just bite me in the ass later. When will it stop??
I weighed myself this morning, and I am back up to 253.4. Perhaps that is water weight? I know I didnt drink my usual amount of water yesterday and possibly it was the extra calories that I kept shoving in my face of the disgusting food I cooked. Whatever it is, I believe that the scale will go back down. I have to believe in myself.